One year on…

Depression, Fitness, Lifestyle, Pain, Posts, Update, Work

It has been just over a year since I last wrote a post, and, in that time, a lot has happened. You might have known that I dropped out of university last year, following a dip in my health over the autumn and winter. I had a bad experience living in university halls and ended up moving into a rented house with my partner. Shortly after, I realised that university wasn’t for me, and officially finished just after Christmas. Around the same time, I had a few new additions to my medication, a couple of emergency trips to A&E, and a major loss in my social circle.

Having lost most of my friends upon leaving university, and generally having most people ghost me due to my fibro, I was left with barely anyone to talk to. The rest of my social circle is either too far away, or just doesn’t really care.  Luckily, I still had my best friend in the form of my partner, Joe, but other than that, I was incredibly lonely.

Well anyway, I decided to take the advice I had been given, and find my company elsewhere. On mother’s day, I became a mother myself.. to two gorgeous little kittens, Cleo and Layla. As therapy animals, I am allowed to have them in rented accommodation, even if it is otherwise not pet- friendly. As my GP had advised it, my Landlord said it was okay.

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Cleo and Layla have literally kept me alive this year, and have been there for me constantly. In fact, they are currently perched on the end of my bed, sleeping as I write up this post. I will definitely be writing more about them soon, as I have been planning to do a service animal post for over a year now and, to be honest, I could ramble on about my fur-babies for hours.

This isn’t the end of my story though, as there has been a lot more that has happened this year.

Joe has settled nicely into a job now, and we have, just about, got a steady income. However, since I can’t hold down a job, we have had a rough time with money troubles this year, too. At one point, we couldn’t even afford a weekly grocery shop, and Lidl seemed expensive. All things considered, we needed to cut down on our expenditure. It’s now nearing the end of our (quite expensive) tenancy, and so our miraculous plan was to move house, to somewhere cheaper. Funnily enough, the house we found is only 12 doors down from where we are now, is even more beautiful, and is £250 cheaper per month (bargain). I’m hoping that these savings will give me the opportunity to start up my own craft shop, and slowly but surely help us to progress.

Over the last year, I also gained a lot of weight. Having dropped out of university, I suddenly wasn’t walking to lectures on a daily basis, and having Joe’s car meant I didn’t have to walk anywhere else, either. As useful as it is to not be losing as much energy over travel, it also meant I wasn’t burning off as many calories, and these started to build up. Over the space of the year, I went from 9 stone to 13 stone, gaining almost half my original bodyweight in fat. Not only is this unhealthy, it made my fibro more difficult to cope with, and made my self esteem plummet even further. It wasn’t until I had to care for the kittens, and started to form a daily routine, that I started to lose it again. Since August, I have now dropped back down to 11 stone, and I am hopeful that I will continue to lose some more.  Before the kittens came along, I spent nearly every day in bed, and only got up for a few hours a day, when joe came home in the evening. I felt that I had little to no reason to exist, so would hide under my duvet all day, feeling poorly. This went on for months, hence why I put on so much weight.

Note to self: hiding under the duvet doesn’t work for more than a day or so. Eventually, you have to come out.

Thats not the only trouble I had this year, either. Say hello to my nasty little friend, insomnia. Although I have always struggled to sleep at night, it has now reached ridiculous levels. I used to need between 1 and 4 hours to go to sleep, but now, I can be still awake when joe gets up the next morning. It doesn’t happen every night, but still occurs several times throughout the week, leaving me to oversleep through the day and make the cycle even worse. Fun.

I am in the process of applying for CBT, and I am also thinking of asking my GP about sleep medication. For now though, I am completely avoiding caffeine, going to bed early, eating healthily, and trying to get as much fresh air and exercise as I can during the day. I am looking forward to moving soon, as it will give me the opportunity to be more active around the house, as we will be packing, unpacking, decorating, and sorting the garden, most of which I will do whilst Joe is at work. Hopefully, this will help me to lose weight and sleep better too, fingers crossed.

For now, I would love to get back into writing on this blog, as I realised today just how much I have missed it. Keep an eye out over the next few weeks for some more posts, as I will definitely be writing again now I have written this.

Let me know if you have any questions or advice, I’m always open to comments and love to hear feedback!

Bye for now 🙂

 

Explaining your chronic illness to children

fibro fog, Help for friends, family, and significant others, Help for sufferers, Lifestyle, Pain, Posts

I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that one of the hardest parts about having fibromyalgia (aside from the obvious) is being able to communicate what it means. Usually, people get the gist if you compare it to something more ‘normal‘, like being hit by a bus, for example. When it comes to kids, however, it gets a bit more complicated.

I find that, being the “cool” and “fun” auntie that I am *winks*, it gets difficult to tell children why I can’t play or pick them up or run around all day. It’s particularly heart breaking when you notice that they stop liking you as much. In general, though, I find that kids are very accepting of me being ill, it’s just a case of explaining why I don’t get better.

Here’s what I have found out:

1. Children struggle to understand long term illness.

If I tell my niece I am poorly, she gets it, but she expects me to ‘get well soon’ (as she wrote on the adorable card she had drawn me one time). It is difficult to explain that this won’t happen, so I try to make it easier by explaining from the start that I always feel like this. Don’t forget, it can be quite distressing from a child’s point of view, to be told that your grown up friend is always unwell- I’ve occasionally been asked by kids if I am dying, or if I am sad. Obviously this is not the case, but it might look like it to them. To help with this, I make it clear that when I am tired, I might look grumpy, but it doesn’t always mean I am, and that otherwise, I am perfectly healthy. Don’t be afraid to repeat this, as children often forget these things, and may not remember that you are okay.

2. A magic kiss or rub doesn’t make it better, but it’s cute that they try.

When my niece gives me a hug to make me feel better, it is important that I say thank you, and let her know that it cheered me up. It might not make my pain go away, but the fact that she tried is nice, and she deserves a thank you for going to the effort to make me feel better. Seeing a positive outcome will also teach her that she is doing the right thing, and being nice to someone really can help a little bit, even in the worst scenarios. This is a lesson that will keep her going throughout life.

3. Being responsible for a child is just as mentally draining as it is physically.

I know that my brain will struggle to keep up with a child’s fast pace, and I have to remember to take a break every now and then, so that I don’t wear myself out. A good way around this is to tell your child that you need a nap, they will leave you for a good half an hour to get some ‘me’ time, as far as I’ve learnt. Kids are very understanding about being tired, since they also need plenty of sleep, and I tend to find that they have no issue with letting you (pretend) sleep. You must also consider that the responsibility you hold for that child is important, so if you do feel like you can’t handle the situation, get another adult to step in whilst you take a break.

4. I’m not as strong as most people my age/size/gender, so I can’t pick them up.

Depending on the ‘format’ of your child, they might be a little on the large size, but still want picking up (i.e; a 5 year old who wants you to play). Since I am a petite 5.2″ female, I struggle with anyone over the age of 4, since they can get rather heavy. I let my niece know this, and she understands that although she is allowed to sit on my knee, I am not strong enough to pick her up all the time. She then runs to her uncle and asks him instead (teehee). Occasionally, she forgets this, but a brief “sorry, I’m not strong enough, why don’t you ask …….. instead?” does the trick.

5. I’ll be sacrificing my whole week if you ask me to baby sit for the day.

I don’t like confrontation, and sometimes, I just can’t say no. However, I know it is important to remember that you do have the right to say no whenever you like, and especially if it will effect your health. As a rule of thumb, I won’t babysit for anyone for more than a few hours, since I know that it will leave me drained. If I have to, I make sure I have the help of another adult, who can take over when I can’t. If a child asks me to spend time with them, I generally give them about an hour or so before telling them I have important adult stuff to do. Remember, it is important to spend time with the children in your life, but don’t over do it if it will make you ill. Likewise, don’t be mean to them, a simple explanation will work just fine.

I hope this helps you to explain your situation to the children in your life, whether they be your own or someone else’s, and for any parents out there, don’t forget to think twice before asking a friend to babysit. It might not be as easy for them as it is for you.

Don’t forget to comment if you have any tips for childcare with chronic illness, and let me know if this post was helpful at all- I love to hear your feedback.

See you soon, guys.

Travelling with illnesses: what I was told.

Help for sufferers, Posts, Travel, Travelling with illnesses series

So I’ve got an apology to make. I haven’t posted anything in over two weeks. This is partly because I have been suffering (more on that soon), but also because I’ve been jetsetting.

For the last two weeks, I’ve been in a beautiful little country called Laos, making an attempt to help those less fortunate than me. Not only has it been one of my lifelong goals to travel, but spending time there helped me to improve who I am as a person, and truly push my limits to the max.

Of course, traveling with fibro, or indeed any other chronic disability, can be a bit of a challenge. Whether it be the plane journey, the climate differences, or the new activities; travelling can be a pain (literally!).

Throughout the next week, I’m going to be sharing a little about what I did over in Laos, along with giving some helpful tips for you to remember the next time you’re abroad.

In the meantime, here are a few suggestions I was given whilst away, that you might like to try out for yourself…

1. Be mindful.

I was told that one of the most important parts of looking after your body involves being able to listen to what it has to tell you.

Next time you have a quiet five minutes, get yourself comfy and listen. Start by breathing slowly and deeply, counting your breaths and feeling your body relax as you do. Then, focus on each part of your body, starting at your toes and working up to your head, and allow yourself to feel what’s going on there. Forget about your stress, forget about the outside world, just focus on you. Once you reach the top of your crown, allow your mind to accept and then let go of those feelings, and then concentrate back on your breathing.

This time, try and empty your mind, and allow any new thoughts, feelings, or worries to float through your mind and be let go. Spend a few moments like this, allowing your mind and body to relax and push aside any mental or physical problems for the moment.

2. Get a massage.

Sometimes, having a massage can really help you to relax, and what better way is there to treat yourself than to soothe your body and ease any achy muscles? Next time you have some spare cash, book yourself in to your local spa; or if you prefer to spend a little less, get a close friend or family member to spend some time with you for a pamper evening, where you can help each other.

3. Try yoga.

Personally, I haven’t had the chance to properly test this one out yet, but loads of people have told me that it is worth the effort.

Start simple and spend five minutes each day stretching out your body and focusing on breathing exercises. As you adjust, build up your routine to focus on longer, more complicated yoga positions. If you need inspiration, just try searching your fave social media for some yoga advice, as it is a popular hobby that is widely available online.

Do you have any advice you’d like to share, or an idea to try? Or, maybe you have something to say about what I’ve shared? Let us know what you think in the comments below, and don’t forget to like and share if you enjoyed this read!

Thanks guys!

My latest obsession

Posts, Uncategorized

So I have a confession to make…

I have a bit of an addiction to houseplants. They’re pretty, easy to look after, and university friendly. What could possibly go wrong? Well…

Here’s the thing: having fibro means that you often do silly things out of boredom, and very easily create obsessions to occupy the time when you’re stuck in bed. I got a bit of an obsession with all of the pretty houseplants that I’d seen on Tumblr and Pinterest, and it got a slightly out of hand. Every time I saw an interesting plant, I had to buy it. I spent a FORTUNE.

It doesn’t make it any better that I miss my animals whilst I’m away at university, so I’ve replaced them with a windowsill full of greenery (well I had to find SOMEWHERE to put my affections, right!?). Having plants gives me something to do when I feel well, and something to look at when I’m not. The best bit is that you can choose plants that rely on very little water, so that you don’t have to spend too much time on maintenance, especially when you’re poorly.

Anyway, house plants are pretty good for fibro sufferers (much easier than a dog) and also for tenants who aren’t allowed pets, but they can get pretty expensive. I daren’t tell you how much I’ve spent perfecting my windowsill!

If you fancy starting your own collection, look into buying cacti, succulents, and other common houseplants that require low maintenance. You can pick them up from all over nowadays, most of mine are from my local Lidl supermarket, and I’ve even got a few from the carboot. If you want a good deal, look out for the plants that look a little bit worse for ware. As long as they still have healthy growth and aren’t too far gone, you can usually bring them back to life. My favourite part about that is that the shop usually wants rid of the ones that aren’t doing well, because they are less likely to sell, so you can normally get them at a reduced price.

My favourite plant from my own personal bunch is a spider plant. It fills out the space in my room and, best of all, sprouts loads of new growths. This means that I can snip them off and pot them up, thus giving me loads of new little ones (yay!). I’m currently waiting for my ten spider plant babies to grow a little so that I can pot them nicely and send then as gifts to the people I love.

Let us know if you have any interesting hobbies that are fibro friendly, because it’s great to have an obsession when you’re stuck in bed feeling low. Also, if you have any houseplants that you care for, I’d love to hear your advice. Last but not least, don’t forget to like and comment so I know I’m posting the good stuff!

Five things I don’t need to worry about (but do anyway).

Depression, Help for sufferers, Posts

Keeping this short and sweet, here is my take on five things that most fibro sufferers will worry about at some point (but have no reason to).

1. Going out by myself.

I went through a stage last Christmas where I fainted quite a lot. I put this down to either medication, stress, or some unknown co-morbidity. Regardless, it became an issue. I couldn’t go outside without a friend or family member because I worried that I might faint. This anxiety got so bad that it caused panic attacks. I’m much better now, but I still worry when I am by myself in public.

2. What will happen if I choose to stop my meds?

I take a type of SNRI antidepressant which has a dual effect in dulling my pain and lifting my low mood. Unfortunately, these types of drugs can cause serious addictions and, if I choose to come off of them, I will have severe withdrawal symptoms. Don’t worry, I’m not an addict and I don’t have a drug problem, however my body sometimes becomes unresponsive to the drug, meaning that I have built a tolerance for it. Unfortunately, this is a common marker in predicting future cases of withdrawal syndrome. On the plus side, however, there is plenty of support available and my doctor will ensure that I withdraw as smoothly as possible.

3. What if people just think I’m lazy?

I can’t deny it, I sometimes feel like I’m just a lazy, unmotivated hypochondriac. If I think that, then what must others think? To an outsider, fibro must seem really stupid, and I’ve had loads of people judge me to be lazy (even some really close friends!). Unfortunately, it turns out that I’m not just bluffing my way out of hard work, however I’ve had way too many people comment otherwise. From overly personal queries about my finances to judgmental references about being ‘bored’ or ‘lonely’, I’ve heard it all. All I can say is this, I do get bored and I do get lonely, but I can’t really do much about it when I have no way of getting out of bed. And when it comes to finances, well, I’d be the first to jump up at the opportunity of a job, except I can’t jump up in the first place. At the end of the day, though, it doesn’t really matter as long as I am content and not harming anyone.

4. Fibro will stop me from getting a job.

Like I’ve just said, I would love to have a job. It would keep me busy, it would keep me fit, and it would keep me motivated. Most importantly, however, it would mean that I have enough money to live off. As it stands, there aren’t any jobs which are flexible enough for my disabilities. I’d like to be able to explain this to all of those judgemental people out there who have had something to say about my current lifestyle, but nobody really wants to listen. Therefore, I’m currently working towards getting a job which will be suitable, hence why I have started this blog. At the moment though, I need to get my game face on.

5. The people who matter to me will be scared away.

Well, what can I say? Over the last year I’ve had a big change in friends. Not only is this due to leaving for university, but also because those who I thought were there for me when it mattered most weren’t. On the other hand, I’ve built a beautiful family out of those who did stay, and even found my wonderful boyfriend, who has always been there for me despite the circumstances.