One year on…

Depression, Fitness, Lifestyle, Pain, Posts, Update, Work

It has been just over a year since I last wrote a post, and, in that time, a lot has happened. You might have known that I dropped out of university last year, following a dip in my health over the autumn and winter. I had a bad experience living in university halls and ended up moving into a rented house with my partner. Shortly after, I realised that university wasn’t for me, and officially finished just after Christmas. Around the same time, I had a few new additions to my medication, a couple of emergency trips to A&E, and a major loss in my social circle.

Having lost most of my friends upon leaving university, and generally having most people ghost me due to my fibro, I was left with barely anyone to talk to. The rest of my social circle is either too far away, or just doesn’t really care.  Luckily, I still had my best friend in the form of my partner, Joe, but other than that, I was incredibly lonely.

Well anyway, I decided to take the advice I had been given, and find my company elsewhere. On mother’s day, I became a mother myself.. to two gorgeous little kittens, Cleo and Layla. As therapy animals, I am allowed to have them in rented accommodation, even if it is otherwise not pet- friendly. As my GP had advised it, my Landlord said it was okay.

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Cleo and Layla have literally kept me alive this year, and have been there for me constantly. In fact, they are currently perched on the end of my bed, sleeping as I write up this post. I will definitely be writing more about them soon, as I have been planning to do a service animal post for over a year now and, to be honest, I could ramble on about my fur-babies for hours.

This isn’t the end of my story though, as there has been a lot more that has happened this year.

Joe has settled nicely into a job now, and we have, just about, got a steady income. However, since I can’t hold down a job, we have had a rough time with money troubles this year, too. At one point, we couldn’t even afford a weekly grocery shop, and Lidl seemed expensive. All things considered, we needed to cut down on our expenditure. It’s now nearing the end of our (quite expensive) tenancy, and so our miraculous plan was to move house, to somewhere cheaper. Funnily enough, the house we found is only 12 doors down from where we are now, is even more beautiful, and is £250 cheaper per month (bargain). I’m hoping that these savings will give me the opportunity to start up my own craft shop, and slowly but surely help us to progress.

Over the last year, I also gained a lot of weight. Having dropped out of university, I suddenly wasn’t walking to lectures on a daily basis, and having Joe’s car meant I didn’t have to walk anywhere else, either. As useful as it is to not be losing as much energy over travel, it also meant I wasn’t burning off as many calories, and these started to build up. Over the space of the year, I went from 9 stone to 13 stone, gaining almost half my original bodyweight in fat. Not only is this unhealthy, it made my fibro more difficult to cope with, and made my self esteem plummet even further. It wasn’t until I had to care for the kittens, and started to form a daily routine, that I started to lose it again. Since August, I have now dropped back down to 11 stone, and I am hopeful that I will continue to lose some more.  Before the kittens came along, I spent nearly every day in bed, and only got up for a few hours a day, when joe came home in the evening. I felt that I had little to no reason to exist, so would hide under my duvet all day, feeling poorly. This went on for months, hence why I put on so much weight.

Note to self: hiding under the duvet doesn’t work for more than a day or so. Eventually, you have to come out.

Thats not the only trouble I had this year, either. Say hello to my nasty little friend, insomnia. Although I have always struggled to sleep at night, it has now reached ridiculous levels. I used to need between 1 and 4 hours to go to sleep, but now, I can be still awake when joe gets up the next morning. It doesn’t happen every night, but still occurs several times throughout the week, leaving me to oversleep through the day and make the cycle even worse. Fun.

I am in the process of applying for CBT, and I am also thinking of asking my GP about sleep medication. For now though, I am completely avoiding caffeine, going to bed early, eating healthily, and trying to get as much fresh air and exercise as I can during the day. I am looking forward to moving soon, as it will give me the opportunity to be more active around the house, as we will be packing, unpacking, decorating, and sorting the garden, most of which I will do whilst Joe is at work. Hopefully, this will help me to lose weight and sleep better too, fingers crossed.

For now, I would love to get back into writing on this blog, as I realised today just how much I have missed it. Keep an eye out over the next few weeks for some more posts, as I will definitely be writing again now I have written this.

Let me know if you have any questions or advice, I’m always open to comments and love to hear feedback!

Bye for now 🙂

 

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